‘God is in charge:’
A mother’s testimony

“You’re not in charge, God is.” That’s what Mary McGuire said to the doctors who told her that her premature baby would probably not survive or would lapse into a permanent vegatative state.
Mary never believed that she would have biological children because she is what is known as a “DES daughter.” Her mother had been given the drug diethylstilbestrol, more commonly abbreviated as “DES,” while she was pregnant with Mary.
DES is a synthetic estrogen that was commonly prescribed during the 1950s and ’60s to help prevent miscarriages. Although FDA-approved at the time, the drug was neither safe nor effective. Instead of helping pregnant women carry to term, DES caused injuries to the babies, including physical and psychological disorders. Daughters of mothers exposed to DES were born with abnormalities to their reproductive systems that were not recognized until the daughters grew into their teenage years or older.
Ironically today DES — known as the “morning after pill” — is given in high dosage within 72 hours of conception to cause the miscarriage of an unwanted pregnancy.
“I never ‘owned’ the idea of having a biological child. I knew I could love any child and I believed I could be a mother to a child I didn’t give birth to. After all, giving birth is the easiest part of motherhood!”
So when she married her husband Michael, Mary said they decided to leave the motherhood question in God’s hands. Mary prayed to St. Joseph — the patron saint of a happy family — to intercede for them. To their surprise and joy, Mary became pregnant on their honeymoon.
“We had a son and we named him Joseph of course! He ended up having hydrocephalus, which was really scary.”
Hydrocephalus, also known as “water on the brain,” is a condition where the normal drainage of cerebrospinal fluid in the brain is blocked in some way. The McGuires were told that Joseph would need countless surgeries that could result in infections and that there was a high change he would have mentally retardation.
“God just sustained us. Everyone prayed for us and we prayed for a healing. Joseph ended up needing only one surgery his whole life – and he’s really smart. He’s on the National Honor Society at Devon Prep!”
When Mary became pregnant the second time, she and her husband chose not to have a genetic test. They decided they would take what God gave them. They did not want doctors burdening them with negative advice.
Mary prayed for the intercession of St. John Neumann, who had a special place in her heart. It was at the Neumann House — a young adult group in Philadelphia — that Mary met her husband. St. Neumann came through for them and they had a healthy second son, who they named John.
Their third child, Maureen, was born three months early at 1 pound, 10 ounces.
The doctors did not think Maureen would survive. If she did — they told the McGuires — their daughter would be in a permanent vegetative state. The prognosis was hopeless, according to the doctors, but Mary trusted in the greatest Doctor of all.
“The lessons we learned when John was born helped us a lot when Maureen was sick. Again, everyone was praying for us.”
Maureen is now 13-years-old and she is definitely not in a vegetative state. In fact, despite having cerebral palsy, she is training for the Junior National Championships with her swim team, the Hammerheads.
“Maureen has seizures and some physical disabilities. That’s hard and we keep praying for a complete healing, but I just know that God is God and I’m not. This is part of her journey, our journeys.”
Once things were settled with Maureen, the McGuires decided they wanted to adopt a child. Initially, they wanted a healthy American toddler, but after exposure to Camp Guadalupe, hosted by Living Bridges — a Catholic lay ministry serving children and families — the McGuires felt called to be open to adopting a child with disabilities from another country.
When they saw Monica, they fell in love with her. At the time Monica was a 7-year-old from Mexico, the same age as Maureen. She is an amputee. Today, she swims with her sister Maureen.
“I never thought I’d learn so much about people with disabilities. We’ve come to know this whole other culture. I have to say the world of disabilities is much nicer then the general population. It’s been really good for all of us.”
Mary is a full-time mom to her four teenaged children and an active member of St. Patrick Parish in Norristown. She takes one day at a time, knowing that God is taking care of her family day-to-day.
Mary remembers that during the dark times, there were moments of despair when she felt she was hanging on by a thread. For mothers who are struggling through, Mary has this to say: “I’m really [convinced] that God loves us so much. He has more in mind for us than we can imagine. You just have to trust in that. Sometimes it doesn’t look that way, but it is.
“Who would have looked at Good Friday and thought the Resurrection would come from that? You have to have the cross with the resurrection even if most of us would rather just have the resurrection.
“It is in those moments that we should reach out to people. Ask for prayers, go to confession, call the Variety club and get involved. We have to trust.”
Variety Club is a nonprofit organization that takes pride in providing programs and services to special-needs children throughout the Delaware Valley region. Phone: (215) 735-0803 or e-mail: info@varietyphila.org

Contact Nadia Pozo at npozo@adphila.org or (215) 965-4614