The joys of
an Italian wedding

By NADIA POZO
CS&T Staff Writer

More and more young couples are returning to their roots and incorporating some of the old traditions, adding extra touches to make their wedding-day celebrations even more memorable.
This was true for Marialaina Selvaggi and James Squadrito, whose grand, Italian wedding was celebrated on Sept. 25, 2004.
The tarantella, bomboniere, and traditional Italian wedding soup were all part of a wedding that was steeped in the ways of Italy. But for this young couple, Mass was the most important part of the day.
Selvaggi and Squadrito were raised in strongly Catholic Italian families in South Philadelphia.
In fact, they started their courtship by going to weekly Mass together, with Selvaggi’s family. “My mother always says that a family that prays together stays together,” Marialaina said.
The two met and began dating in high school. She was a freshmen at St. Maria Goretti High School for Girls, and he was a junior at St. John Neumann High School for Boys.
Six years later, they were married and blessed by five priests who concelebrated their wedding Mass.
The couple spent two years of their engagement just planning their wedding. “My advice would be not to rush into marriage but take time to prepare and plan,” Marialaina said.
A week before the wedding, the couple had the Wedding Serenade, a tradition in which the groom serenades his bride-to-be as a way of showing his love. In the Squadritos case, it was the bride who sang to the groom, because he was too shy to venture a song in front of their 150 guests.
“Our street was blocked off, and tables, chairs and canopies filled our street,” said Theresa Selvaggi, the mother of the bride.
“A caterer served hot dishes, and of course, the traditional “porchetta” — a whole roasted pig — was served and decorated. A barrel of uncle Anthony’s homemade wine was made the year before for the event,” Theresa Selvaggi added. There were also Italian pastries, imported cheeses and even a well known Italian singer who came to celebrate.
On her wedding day, Marialaina Selvaggi carried a crystal rosary — a family heirloom that her mother and grandmother both carried at their own weddings.
After the Mass, which was held at St. Monica Church in South Philadelphia, the couple released doves to symbolize the unity of their marriage — a surprise arranged by the bride’s parents.
As one would imagine, food is central to any Italian wedding reception. That was certainly the case at Drexelbrook on the last Saturday in September. Antipasti — or hors d’oeuvres — and all kinds of pastas, meats and fish were served.
Italian weddings follow the principle that the more food, the merrier the party. Starting with soup: “Part of the dinner for an Italian wedding always includes the traditional ‘wedding soup’ or escarole soup,” Theresa Selvaggi said.
Another ‘must have’ touch for an Italian wedding consists of Jordan almonds — hard sugar candies, wrapped in tulle and given to each guest. They represent the bitter and sweet of marriage.
Then, as the newly wed Squadritos celebrated their night with music by Italian musicians, and dancing, all their guests helped with the tarantella — a circle dance that moves clockwise and counter-clockwise to ever-quickening music; the trick is to keep it up to the end.
Perhaps the most recognized of all Italian folk music, the tarantella is thought by some to have been an early remedy for a tarantula’s bite — you dance until you sweat the poison out of your system — thus its name.
And then, for the wedding guests, the bomboniere.
“Italians would never dream of not having a ‘bomboniere’ to give to their guests,” Theresa Selvaggi said.
The tradition of bestowing a bomboniere — a gift of appreciation — to each guest as a keepsake, began in Italy in the 14th century, when the families of engaged couples began exchanging small packages filled with sweets as a sign of good fortune. Over time, those sugar-coated Jordan almonds became the sweet of choice.
But today the gift can be any number of carefully chosen things. Couples who attended the Selvaggi and Squadrito nuptials departed with an elegantly wrapped set of six wine glasses.
For their part, the newlyweds basked in the long-planned and dreamt-of day.
“It’s really important to enjoy the day because it goes by so fast,” the new bride said. “I took a lot in, and I really enjoyed myself.”
Four months later, she and her husband are growing accustomed to the big changes in their lives, and working together to build a strong marriage.

Contact Nadia Pozo at npozo@adphila.org or (215) 965-4614