The Catholic Standard and Times

Praying in the dark

by Susan Brinkmann
CS&T Correspondent

Praying is easy when life is going well, but what about when the kids quit the faith, a close relative is diagnosed with terminal cancer, or our business is about to go belly-up? How do we keep praying when all hope seems gone?

Christians have been asking that question for two millennia and there’s never been any answer except one — confidence in God.

And there’s only one way to acquire this kind of confidence in God. Persistent daily prayer — no matter what.

Daily prayer is the only way to get to know God. And the more we get to know Him, the more we begin to realize just why we can always approach Him with complete confidence.

If we pray only when we need something, God becomes a kind of Santa Claus, Who doles out gifts according to the persuasiveness of our prayer. That is a distorted image of Him — and us — and it prevents us from developing the kind of trust and confidence in God we need when the going gets tough.

It also keeps us stuck in a rut of spiritual immaturity, where we have a tendency to “apply to the heart of Jesus the measure of our own miserable little hearts, so mean, so narrow, so hard,” writes Father Jean C. J. D’Elbee, an expert on the life and spirituality of St. Thérèse of Lisieux.

Treating God like Santa Claus is short-changing Him.

“We do not succeed in comprehending how good, how indulgent, how compassionate, how gentle and how patient is Jesus, Himself,”says Father D’Elbee, so the one thing we’ll never hear Him say is: “You hoped too much of me.”

“Jesus Himself said, ‘All things whatsoever you ask when you pray, believe that you have already received them and they shall come unto you.’ You see how far Jesus wants us to push our confidence?” writes Father D’Elbee in his book, “I Believe in Love.”

So why don’t we do it? Why do we become despondent and lose heart when our prayer doesn’t seem to turn things around?

St. Bernard identified several common reasons why people lose heart in prayer during times of adversity. Instead of remembering that with God all things are possible, and that we can place the entire situation in His hands and trust whatever He chooses to do about it, we tend to become timid, or lukewarm, or presumptious.

“Timid prayer does not reach to heaven, because unreasonable fear holds back the soul. … Lukewarm prayer becomes languid as it rises and fails because it has no vigor. Presumptuous prayer ascends indeed, but rebounds, for it encounters resistance; and not merely does it not obtain grace, but it also earns offense. But prayer which is faithful, humble and fervent, will without doubt reach to heaven, from whence it is certain that it cannot return empty,” St. Bernard said.

Scripture is full of examples of how faithful, humble and fervent prayer reaches heaven, and its astonishing results. Consider the case of the prophetess Judith, whose city was surrounded by a powerful enemy who was attempting to force her people out by taking over their water supply. The faithful prayed to God saying that if He didn’t help them within five days, they would surrender to the enemy.

Judith accused them of “tempting God” by placing conditions upon Him: “Will you never understand anything? You cannot plumb the depths of the human heart or grasp the workings of the human mind; how then can you fathom God, Who has made all these things, discern His mind and understand His plans? … If He does not wish to come to our aid within the five days He has it equally within His power to protect us at such time as He pleases, or to destroy us in the face of our enemies. … Let us call upon Him to help us, and He will hear our cry if it is His good pleasure.”

Judith had complete confidence in the power of God — more than enough to let Him make the ultimate decision about whether or not to rescue her people from certain destruction. In response, not only did He chose to do so, but He used a woman to cut off the head of the mightiest soldier in the enemy ranks.

God can do far greater things than we can dream of — if only we let Him.

Another common reason why prayer in adversity tends to become lukewarm is because God doesn’t answer the way we’d planned. As Father Jeremias Drexelius writes in his book, “Heliotropium,” God may choose to delay His answer “in order that it might be granted at some more fitting time, and that, meanwhile, we may win God’s favor by our perseverance.”

“Most accurately does [He] know the proper time when [He] ought to help each person. And so nothing should ever be asked from God without perfect subjection or resignation of the will. … No prayers offered with fitting resignation of will are vain, absolutely none; for either that which is sought will be obtained, or something better.”

This kind of unshakeable confidence was at the very heart of St. Thérèse’s “Little Way.”

“We obtain from Him as much as we hope to receive from Him,” she once wrote. “He measures His gifts according to the amount of confidence He finds in Him.”

When she fell asleep during prayer, her confidence in God told her that just like any other parent, He loved her as much asleep as awake.

When dryness and extreme trials of faith made God seem to be ignoring her prayers, she believed Jesus would sooner grow weary of making her wait than she of waiting for Him.

This is the kind of prayer that “takes Jesus by His heart,” she said. And for good reason. Listen to the confidence in her prayer: “Jesus, You may sleep in my boat; I shall not awaken You. You are hiding Yourself, but I know well where You are hidden. You are in my heart. I do not feel it, but I know it. I believe in Your love for me and I believe in my love for You.”

These words have even more meaning when we consider that St. Thérèse uttered them during the darkest night of her soul — when she had no fervor, no reassurances, and while clinging to the barest thread of faith. In fact, the saints and spiritual masters tell us that it is when this prayer is forced through gritted teeth that it brings us the most merit because then it is a sheer act of will uttered more for God’s sake than for our own.

The next time life takes a sudden bad turn and all hope seems gone, we can abandon everything to the Lord and take heart in the advice of the masters: “Those who are generous in abandonment awake to marvelous vistas,” Father D’Elbee writes. “After the days of storms and darkness, when Jesus lifts the veil and reveals a little of what He has done for him who believed. … what joy to be able to say, ‘Oh, how right I was to believe! I believed, and He surpassed all my hopes.’”

Contact Susan Brinkmann at fiat723@aol.com or (215) 965-4615