The Catholic Standard and Times

Advocate: Victims demonstrate true courage and power of human spirit

By Mary Achilles
Victim Advocate

The United States Congress has designated April, 2006 as National Sexual Assault Awareness Month and National Child Abuse Prevention Month. There will be commemorations, celebrations and memorialization coordinated by sexual assault victims and their advocates at the local, state and national levels.

All of these events are designed to increase our knowledge of the impact and prevention of sexual assault. These efforts also assist in shedding light on an issue that is often difficult to talk about, and difficult to hear about.

As an advocate for the past 26 years, I have heard many stories of the victims of crime. To them, I say thank you for having taught me so much about your needs in the aftermath of crime. I thank you for showing me true courage, sharing profound wisdom, demonstrating the power of the human spirit and teaching me that people can become strong at the broken places.For all of us, it is important to realize that sexual assault of any kind is a crime of violence. It is not an expression of sexuality. It is motivated by a need to control, humiliate and harm. Sexual assault violates the victim’s trust and sense of safety. It occurs anytime a person is coerced and/or manipulated into unwanted sexual activity.

We need to understand that those adults who were assaulted as children have lived with the shame of sexual assault, under the threat and authority the abuser held over them. As children they were powerless. As adults they are attempting to regain power over their own well-being.

Most importantly, we need to remember that whether the victims were assaulted by parents, siblings, family members, friends or strangers, they are still our brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, friends and neighbors. They are us.

Families and friends of victims know that many victims experience long-term trauma responses, some in the form of serious mental health issues. Some recent statistics show that child sexual assault survivors are three times more likely to suffer from depression, six times more likely to suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder, 13 times more likely to abuse alcohol and four times more likely to contemplate suicide than the average population.

I am presently working closely with the Archdiocese to address, in a particular way, the needs of those who have been sexually assaulted as youth by clergy. Those of us who are members of the Church community need to remember that the victims we read about in newspapers or in the grand jury report, and especially those who have remained silent, are us. They were assaulted in our parishes and in our schools. Some are still active in our parishes and some are not. But regardless of where they are now, or what they’ve been through, they are us.

I have seen how significant a support system and a belief system are to a victim’s recovery. These systems can provide a safety net for victims. This is not to say that the road to recovery is straight or easy. It entails moving forward, sliding back and stepping sideways. It is often a journey that includes questioning God and, for some, an overall crisis of faith. Most people with the right intervention and support will re-establish a sense of well-being and faith.

Many of you who have been sexually assaulted in the Church have been able to give voice to that experience. In giving voice, you have freed those who have chosen to stay silent. As a result of your voices, I and others are now learning about your experience; About how your abuser used God in commission of the crimes against you; About your sometimes shattered, fragile and tenuous faith; How the uniqueness of this crime lies somewhere in the alternating face of the priest as representative of Christ here on earth, and the priest as your abuser.

As a Church, we must know that the family and friends of victims are greatly impacted also. They also live with the long term effects of this crime. They know well that the victim’s experience goes beyond the initial assault. It encompasses the response that others have in the aftermath of the victim’s disclosure. For some victims, it has been the response of the Church that has continued to cause pain. Those wounds are deep. As a mother of an adult survivor told me the other day, “I feel betrayed.” She wasn’t only talking about the abuser, but the Church as well.

I am committed to listening to vic-t ims and using those voices to help the Archdiocese of Philadelphia in their response. I hope that we can create an environment that fosters disclosure by victims. Only when victims feel free to come forward will we know if our response to them is truly effective. I will assist the Church in doing all in its power to prevent child sexual assault, engage a swift and just process in response to an allegation of child sexual assault and respond to past victims in an appropriate manner.

Listening to victims is the most direct route to appropriate response, no matter who their assaulter. We must listen to what they need in order to help them work their way through the trauma and rebuild their lives. The gift of listening requires a heart and mind free of judgment. This can be difficult when facing the anger victims may have against those who have offended them, and others involved in the response. It requires accepting people as they are. Challenging as this is, it is the only earthly gift we have to offer.

Let’s seek during National Sexual Assault Awareness Month to hone our listening skills, to hear what victims are telling us. And let’s continue to move forward in our efforts to provide more appropriate services in
response.

For more information, visit the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, Office for Children and Youth protection at www.usccb.org/ocyp

Contact Mary Achilles at 267-322-1260.