The Catholic Standard & Times - Kid’s Lenten resolutions can make a mom’s head spin

Kid’s Lenten resolutions can make a mom’s head spin

By Diane Calvin
Special to The CS&T

Last February, just a week after Ash Wednesday, I found my head spinning. While some may conclude that an austere Lenten fast had left me dizzy and weak, I have to admit to a far less noble explanation: My middle-aged brain was attempting to track each family member’s resolutions.

After mulling it over, three of our offspring made up their minds that not a single sweet would enter their mouths for the next 40 days — an impressive undertaking, considering they’ve inherited a strong genetic preference for all things sugar-laden and chocolate-filled.

A mere 24 hours later however, the resolution was blown — not by the kids, but by their mother.

The day after Ash Wednesday, as they came crashing through the front door after school, I received a scolding from the unhappy trio. One by one, they not-so-gently reminded me of my gaffe: “Mom, we told you we were giving up sweets for Lent, and you packed dessert in our lunch bags anyway. How could you?”

Ooooops. But honestly, at 6 a.m. what bleary-eyed mother isn’t running on auto-pilot as she combines the basic food groups into healthy and enticing school lunches? After apologies were doled out, I peeked into their lunch bags, noting with some satisfaction the baggies of crushed, uneaten cookies at the bottom.

Over the next few days, the girls revisited and revised their Lenten resolutions. One-by-one, they determined that giving up all sweets was just too tough (especially with a mother who innocently sabotaged their fledgling efforts). And so, new and improved resolutions were put forth.

• Daughter #1 swore off all sweets, save for an after-dinner treat.

• Daughter #2 remained determined to give up cookies (but cakes and candy were still permitted).

• Daughter #3 decided to reject anything with a hint of chocolate in it.

Paradoxically, while these revamped resolutions simplified their lives, my life (and the meal-planning process) became more complicated. Every day, I sounded more and more like a broken record: “Remind me again, which one of you gave up chocolate?”

Child #4 broke ranks with her sisters. She wrote out her own notions of Lenten sacrifices on slips of paper, folded them up and tucked them into a coffee mug that sat on a shelf in her bedroom. Each Wednesday in Lent, she unwrapped one of the papers and lived out that particular resolution for the week. She got points for originality and variety — but wasn’t that one more thing (actually six, for the six weeks of Lent) for me to keep track of?

With brain synapses near overload, I asked myself, “Why do we let the kids pick?”

But I already knew the answer. Our hope is that by allowing them to choose their own Lenten practices, they will follow through and have a deeper level of commitment.

After all, the goal is not to dishearten kids with too-tough standards that breed failure. The goal is for them to draw closer to God; to keep God more present in heart and mind, and to be grateful for the sacrifices made by Christ.

The effort that went into remembering their resolutions (to say nothing of the exasperated sighs that came my way when I failed) became an additional, personal Lenten sacrifice I hadn’t counted on.

Soon, all pertinent information and intentions were displayed on the white board that hangs prominently in our kitchen, freeing my mind up for “loftier things.” The kids stopped their complaining, and I finally started concentrating on my own resolutions, confident that the “no-cookies” kid would never again be confused with the “no-chocolate” kid.

Diane Calvin is a mother of four who writes on faith and family issues. Write to her at DMCCalvin@Comcast.net.