By christie L. Chicoine
CS&T Staff Writer
Don’t stay away from confession out of fear.
On any given day, a priest hears just about everything in the confessional
— from the child who admits he pulled the dog’s tail to an
adult who engaged in Internet pornography.
Three experienced confessors — Msgrs. Charles P. Vance, pastor of
St. Philip Neri Parish in Lafayette Hill, and Joseph P. Garvin, pastor
of St. Christopher Parish in Philadelphia, and Father Charles H. Hagan,
pastor of Our Lady of Mount Carmel Parish in Doylestown — say it’s
unlikely someone would come to confession bearing a sin the priest hasn’t
already heard.
Sins run the gamut — from intentionally missing Mass to abortion
or adultery, from cheating the IRS to cursing and stealing, from being
petty toward others to drug abuse and gambling.
But regardless of what is laid before him, a priest does not impose personal
judgment on his penitent.
“The priest is just glad that they’re there, and that they’re
approaching God’s grace in the sacrament,” Msgr. Garvin said.
“The priest is very pleased to be the mediator for that.”
Added Father Hagan: “The priest is there as the representative of
Jesus in the sacrament, to bring compassion, mercy and forgiveness to
the person.”
But there is appropriate accountability, of course.
Father Hagan said penitents are reminded, particularly through praying
the Act of Contrition, “that there is some disposition required”
to obtain divine forgiveness — including the resolution to live
a better life and to avoid near occasions of sin.
Father Hagan added: “When people do come with a series of grave
sins, or a single grave sin, the sacrament has so much … relief”
for the penitent that “you can almost see the grace pouring through
the person at that moment.”
Don’t forget, the priest is there to help. He’s not going
to chastise people who can’t remember how to make a by-the-book
confession, or rebuke those who have been away from confession or the
Church — no matter why or however long.
“If people are afraid, they should not feel put off by not knowing
formulas,” Msgr. Garvin said. “They should feel free to say,
‘It’s been a long time, and I’m going to need some help.’
They will find the priest to be very helpful.”
The most important thing is to get yourself into church, Msgr. Vance said.
Being mindful of what the sacrament is all about should help stifle worries
that the priest will scold, or that one’s sins are too terrible
to be forgiven sacramentally.
“If you get yourself into that confessional,” he said, “you’re
going to find that you’re going to be able to talk, and get through
[those concerns]. With that, comes a sense that, ‘This is the beginning
of my coming back to the Church, the beginning of my starting to receive
the sacraments again.
“The first step is the most difficult … the one that you have
to make yourself,” Msgr. Vance said. But when you make that step,
you’ll start to feel a sense that everything will be OK, he added:
“The sacrament, of course, gives a grace to enable you to do that.”
Remember, God is not only on your side — He’s rooting for
you. Msgr. Garvin said penitents should not view God as “some sort
of rule-keeper, doing His best to find them at fault.”
At the same time, however, people who assume they don’t need a priest
— that what they’ve done is a private matter between God and
them — should reconsider the notion that merely being sorry is enough,
the three parish priests caution.
“The reality of that is, you can delude yourself, and simply continue
your pattern of behavior,” Father Hagan said. “[But] when
you have to face another person, especially a person who represents the
Church, the community, it makes you take more responsibility for your
actions.”
For those who want to repair their relationship with God, there’s
no better way to go about it than to step into the confessional, Msgr.
Vance said.
The outward sign of the sacrament’s inward grace shows us, he said,
that “we actually have received pardon, through the priest, from
God. … We could never have assurance of forgiveness if we were just
to go to our rooms, and more or less talk to God in our own words.”
In the world today, that is one sure blessing, he said: “You can’t
say a lot of things to a lot of people — but you can always be assured
of God’s forgiveness in the sacrament.”
Confession also holds the promise of hope, Msgr. Garvin added: “When
they come to the sacrament, the priest feels that these people, with God’s
grace and with their own sorrow, are going to start doing their best to
live a better life.”
That moment is as hopeful for the priest as it is for the penitent, he
said.
“Very few times do you feel more like a priest than you do when
you’re imparting the sacrament of Christ’s forgiveness and
healing — it’s what He did Himself,” Msgr. Garvin said.
“Even on the cross, He said, ‘Father, forgive them.’
The fact that we [priests] are empowered by Him to act in His name for
forgiveness and healing — it’s a very awesome thing.”
It is so rewarding for him, Msgr. Garvin said, that when he is not scheduled
to celebrate Mass after regular confession hours, he often extends his
wait in the confessional box — just in case a penitent is late getting
to the church.
“Invariably, somebody will come, three or four minutes late,”
he said. And, often their confession will be “the most powerful
example of healing or forgiveness.”
Then, Msgr. Garvin said, “I’m just glad that I stuck around.”
CS&T Staff writer Christie L. Chicoine may be reached at (215)
587-2468 or cchicoin@adphila.org.