Learning to pray well


by Susan Brinkmann
CS&T Correspondent


If we had the opportunity to hold the infant Jesus in our arms the way Simeon did when Jesus was presented in the Temple, we would probably pray as we never prayed before.

Imagine the thoughts that would go through our minds, the feelings that would rush upon our hearts, the words that would somehow manage to burst through our speechlessness.

St. Francis de Sales said, in a sermon Feb. 2, 1620, that anyone who wants to pray well should do exactly that.

“There is only one thing necessary to pray well, and that is to have Our Lord in our arms,” he said. “When we do this our prayer is always made well, whatever method we follow.”

Using Simeon as an example, St. Francis proceeded to lay out four simple conditions that are necessary for us to pray well, the equivalent of “holding our Lord in our arms.”

Resignation
First, we must be “just” in the way we pray, meaning we must be resigned to having God’s will trump our own.

“To be just is nothing else than to exist according to the Heart of God and to live according to His good pleasure,” St. Francis says.

Applying that rule to prayer, St. Francis gives the example of a person who is on his way to prayer. You ask, “What are you going to do in prayer?” The person answers, “I’m going to ask God for consolations.”

Although it’s perfectly all right to ask God for comfort, if our will is truly adjusted to His, our prayer intention would sound more like this: “I'm going to ask God for consolation, if it is His will to give it to me.”

Every spiritual master from King David to St. Augustine has said that kind of prayer is irresistable to God.

For example, Father Jeremias Drexelius, S.J., said in his classic book, “Heliotropium,” that such trustful prayer is “like an arrow that pierces God’s heart” because it imitates Jesus’ own prayer: “Not my will but Thine be done.” That acknowledges God’s freedom to act as He will.

“We can then be confident of either receiving what we seek, or something better,” Father Drexelius wrote. “Because no prayer offered with fitting resignation of will is vain — absolutely none.”

Patience
The second condition that must be present for us to pray well is that we be patient, and place no unreasonable expectations on ourselves.

“It certainly would be a great good if we could be humble as soon as we had the idea to be so, without any trouble,” St. Francis says. But, he adds, “We must get used to seeking the attainment of our perfection by the ordinary ways, in tranquility of heart.”

Praying well is not something that will happen overnight. As long as we live on this earth, we will suffer from distractions and aridities. If we’re going to persevere, we must learn how to be gentle and forgiving with ourselves, especially in prayer.

“Some people become discouraged because in time distractions overcome moments of concentration on God. Others are discouraged because their worries preoccupy them and remain with them during times of prayer,” Segundo Galilea wrote in “Temptation and Discernment.”

“In both cases they forget that distractions are not only normal, but they often increase because of tiredness, aridity, etc. …,” he said. “People who experience this forget that maturing faith and persistence — moved by love for God and not for pleasure — invaluably assists prayer.”

Coming to prayer for God’s sake, and not our own, is part of the spiritual maturing process. But it takes time, and we must be prepared to wait on the Lord, as Simeon did. Although we must do all we can to acquire that level of virtue, St. Francis tells us to be patient and let the attainment of this perfection be according to God’s time, not our own.

“We will always have soon enough what we desire when we have it when it pleases God to give it to us,” he says.

Fear of the Lord
The third condition for praying well is to be God-fearing. “How full of respect and reverence should we not be when speaking to the Divine Majesty, since the angels who are so pure tremble in His presence?” St. Francis says.

That condition does not mean shrinking away from God in fear, he explains, but in acknowledging His greatness and our profound littleness. It also means that we don’t just sit and rattle off prayers without thinking about what — and to Whom — we’re praying.

“If you are to be speaking with so great a Lord, it is good that you consider whom you are speaking with, as well as who you are, at least if you want to be polite,” St. Teresa of Avila advised in “The Way of Perfection.”

Practically speaking, she said, “How can you call a king ‘your highness,’ or know the ceremonies to be observed in addressing the highest ranking nobleman, if you do not clearly understand what his position is, and what yours is?”

St. Teresa said us we have nothing to fear in approaching such a great God because He finds more delight in the unpolished manners of a humble shepherd than a learned man who is not humble. However, “just because He is so good doesn’t mean that we should be rude.”

Cleanness of heart
The fourth condition is to make room within ourselves for the Holy Spirit because we can approach God only through the mediation and favor of the Holy Spirit.

How do we do that? By ridding our hearts of all deceit and duplicity, St. Francis said: “Therefore, we must be simple and ingenuous if we want the Holy Spirit to come into us, and Our Lord after Him.”

That cleanness is what Jesus meant when He said, “Say yes when you mean ‘yes’ and ‘no’ when you mean ‘no.’ Anything beyond that is from the evil one” (Mt 5:37).

That means more than merely refraining from double-speak. It means we need to keep the intentions of our heart simple and pure.

“Simplicity excludes every form of duplicity and complication stemming from egoism, self-love, or attachment to self and to creatures; hence it impels the soul in one direction only: to God, to live for Him, to please Him, and to give glory to Him,” Father Gabriel of St. Mary Magdalen wrote in “Divine Intimacy.”

He went on: “The whole spiritual life consists in this progressive simplification, which proceeds at an equal pace with interior purification.”

As St. Francis summarized: “What more shall we now say except that having the Holy Spirit in us during this perishable and mortal life, holding ourselves in great respect and reverence before the Divine Majesty, while awaiting with submission the attainment of our perfection and, as far as possible, adjusting our will to that of God, we will (like Simeon) have the happiness of carrying the Savior in our arms and being blessed eternally by this grace. Amen.”

Contact Susan Brinkmann at fiat723@aol.com or (215) 965-4615.

 

 

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