True
happiness lies
in lifelong marriage
As sure as the sun rises on St. Valentine’s Day, you can be certain
that some couples will become engaged this weekend. Others are making
their plans for a spring or fall wedding this year. The sentiments of
love and romance expressed by people on Valentine’s Day reflect
the natural desire for companionship, intimacy and commitment. In seeking
these goods, people make choices.
Some choose not to marry but only to live together as a kind of “trial
run” for marriage. Statistics show that whatever the intentions
of the cohabiting couple, this arrangement most often leads to breakup
before marriage, or divorce if they do marry.
Most people choose marriage as the best way for a man and woman to support
one another, raise children and reflect the divine love that God has for
all humankind. That is the essence of Catholic teaching on this sacrament.
The Church presents its teaching not to bind people to a set of rules
but to guide them to the truth of the dignity and purpose of the human
person. Married couples and those preparing for the sacrament find support
in the Church that frees them to fulfill their great capacity for love,
so needed today in our world.
Grim results of studies show how much suffering results from lack of commitment
and the presence of conflict and infidelity in marriages. With about half
of all marriages ending in divorce and the well-being of children especially
affected, the path toward marital commitment that the Church points out
appears not so old-fashioned after all.
Each change in a couple’s life brings new challenges to their relationship:
The early years of making a home together; the difficulties of raising
young children, then through turbulent adolescence; the empty nest years,
and finally, the close proximity that retirement brings. Each represents
stresses to the marriage to which couples must adapt, with some help.
Family members, pastors, religious and lay counselors can help couples
adapt to those stresses through pre-Cana preparation, movements such as
Marriage Encounter and private counseling.
A strong marriage can also be seen as a training ground for holiness as
the couple enters more fully each day into a loving communion with each
other, with society and with God. If true happiness is the mature goal
of Valentine’s Day romance, the work and commitment that married
life requires are well worth the effort.