‘Living
in love’
By NADIA MARIA SMITH
CS&T Staff Writer
VILLANOVA — Can couples really remain in the honeymoon phase of
their marriage for the rest of their lives?
According to the co-directors of the Pastoral and Renewal Matrimonial
Center, the answer is a resounding yes. To back that claim, Ron and Kathy
Feher have the Church’s teaching, 32 years of marriage, 10 children
and 30 years experience in mentoring engaged couples.
From that wealth of insight, the Fehers developed the “Living in
Love” parish-based weekend retreats. They apply the late Pope John
Paul II’s Theology of the Body to the real-life experiences of married
couples, Kathy Feher said.
“‘Living in Love’ is a back-to-basics, positive approach
to empowering married couples to experience the irresistible joy of being
in love every day of their lives,” she said.
The Fehers’ personal witness of deep and yet playful love served
as an inspiration for 19 couples who attended one of the retreats at St.
Thomas of Villanova Parish on Feb. 9-10.
“I want what Ron and Kathy have,” said Terrence Quirk of St.
Patrick Parish in Philadelphia. “I want to exude that to other people.”
Quirk attended the retreat at the request of his wife, Jackie, and although
he went begrudgingly, by the end of the weekend he said he was grateful
to his wife of 19 years.
“I am so blessed and happy that I came here,” he said. “I
realize that I have a lot to learn and a lot to change to open up and
become a better person, which is what God really intended me to be.”
Such changes can help him love his wife better — and also show others
what love and marriage are really about, Quirk said.
Those were the goals of the weekend: to change hearts and show couples
how to fulfill their roles as witnesses of God’s faithful love to
the Church, through their marriage vocation.
“Marriage, as a sacrament, is to witness,” said Janice Thompson,
who helped lead the retreat with her husband, Peter. “There is no
book or script that will tell you how to be married. You have to see it
in action.”
The Thompsons were introduced to “Living in Love” retreats
four years ago and have gone on to mentor engaged couples in a more in-depth
program offered by the Fehers’ center, called “Preparing to
Live in Love.”
The retreats operate in parishes at the invitation of individual pastors.
Outside the Philadelphia Archdiocese, they’ve spread to parishes
in five other dioceses. With each retreat, more and more young couples
are finding the tools — and support from their fellow parishioners
— to beat the odds they face in today’s divorce-driven society.
“Young people hate divorce. They don’t want to be divorced.
They know if they want their marriage to work they have to do something
to help,” Ron Feher said. “They haven’t lost the dream.
They want to live in love.”
For upcoming retreats or to learn about the pre-Cana program visit
www.livinginlove.org or call 610-640-4105.